Yours, Mine & Ours

I know it will be a life-long argument... and it's one that I'm looking forward to over the years!

                                        She's such a mommy's girl!
                                                                     No, she's a papa's girl!!

I know, as a daughter - typically little girls relate to their dads better. That's not to say that they don't love their moms more than anything, but there's something about a daddy that winds tight around a little girl's heart.

I always say that Evey is 100% a mommy's girl right now - and I realize that it's because I have the "magic bottles" - but in my heart I know that's not completely true. She may want me to hold her all the time, and for the most part, I can calm her down in seconds where it takes Christopher much longer. I blame that on my smell. At 4:30pm every day, she wants her mom - and nothing can console her except the comfort of nursing (whether or not she's actually hungry) and knowing that I'm home. When E is tired, she wants her mom. When she's hungry, she wants her mom. When she's fussy, she wants her mom. I have to be honest... I'm perfectly okay with that!

But, when Christopher walks in the room, Evey eyes light up completely. It's amazing how she loves that man. She hears his voice from behind her and she wiggles and squirms every which way to get him in her line of vision. Does that mean she doesn't love me as much as she loves her dad? Not at all! Does it mean that I don't wish I got half the amazing smiles and giggles that he gets? Absolutely! 

Since E likes me to hold her when she's upset, I take the brunt of the tearful glares. That gut-wrenching stare that tells me that I'm so terrible because I can't give her what she wants. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. Even though the looks might strike a chord in my heart, I know I'm doing the best I can for that little girl. I praise God for those looks - because even though she may be uspet at me for the time being, the times when she buries her face into my shoulder because she's so tired makes it all worth it. The times when she stops crying as soon as I sing to her makes it all worth it. The times when she thinks my goofy faces are so hilarious, makes it all worth it. The knowledge that she trusts me more than anything else in the world and that she is totally dependent on me makes it all worth it.  

Making Evey laugh and smile is such a gratification for me. It lets me know, even though I mess up, and even though there are nights when she cries for hours and I can't soothe her and that, even though there are nights when I spend the night in tears because of how much she cries, that I'm doing my job right. It lets me know that I must be doing something good in this little girl's life!

There are times when I'm afraid I can't live up to the standards of those before me. My mom was amazing when I was growing up. Yes, we definitely had our battles (and I know Evey and I will as well) but she instilled in me so many qualities that I couldn't raise this little girl without. Every day, she teaches me about patience and love. She has helped me become the mom I wanted to be. Now that I'm a mom, I call mine every day without fail, just to talk about nothing. If I dont' talk to my mom, I feel like a huge, important part of the day is missing. She laughs at me, but there's something about becoming a mom myself that has created a new bond between us, and I look forward to that with my daughter.

Christopher's mom is equally as amazing. I've always said that Evey has hit the grandparent jackpot. Cathy always reminds me of the importance of my relationship with God. She's full of loving advice and I cherish more than she'll ever know. I'm so thankful that I have such an amazing realtionship with my mother-in-law.

I see so many great qualities in friends of mine who are moms, and I strive to add those to my collection. Every day, God stretches me in new ways to teach me to be a better mom to my little girl. As she changes and grows - so do I.

So yes, Evey and I may have our battles throughout life. She may look at me like I'm the meanest person in the world when I strap her into her carseat. She may go back and forth between being a mommy's girl and a papa's girl... and Christopher and I will always tease each other about that. He may get the best smiles and laughs, but I know, without a doubt, that my little girl loves me just as much as she loves her papa. I know that she trusts me, and that she will always be mine.

                                                            She is 100% mommy's girl, and I'll treasure that in my heart forever.